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 Joke Joke Joke

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kill^^boi27
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:29 pm

buang1: meg ako kuno ang nagdaog sa presidency election sa amirika..
buang2: baw!! 2od na mig? cnu naghambl cmu cna?
buang1: ang ginoo.


buang 3: (nabati an) "sang san o ta ka gnhambl noy?"

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kentoy
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:09 pm

sang una:

*mga bayi nga mistisa!

subong:

*basta ga raya ok na!

sang una:

*amoy melon!

subong:

*amoy habon!

sang una:

*laki ga gasto!

subong:

*bayi na pati pa plete!
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atSai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:03 am

Q: why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: because they taste funny.

Q: what did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: "dam!"

Q: what is a zebra?
A: 25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
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kentoy
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:22 pm

si juan nag sulod sa restaurant.. sang nag labay xa sa kusina nakita ya ang mga ga luto nga gina patapan ang burger patty sa ilok!

dasig2 ya tawag ang manager:

juan: watdapak! anu ni man?! nga a gina patapan ang patty sa ilok aw?!
ka GROSS na mu! SO GROSS GID YA! !@#$

manager: sir, kulang pa na.. lantawa lang kung panu gina buhu-an ang
amun nga donut!
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IndusGoth
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:52 pm

"handa akong ibigay ang init ng katawan na hinahanap mo at sisiguraduhin ko na hindi ka makakatulog"

- malandi nga kape
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bata batuta
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:32 am

nanay: anak...timplahan mo nga ako ng kape..

bata: barako ba ma??? (BARAC OBAMA!!)

-------------------------------------------------------------

erap: hoy! ngaa wala ka namunyag!!!

hardinero: teh mr. president naga ulan...

erap: teh pamayong ka eh...

-------------------------------------------------------------

migo 1: mig kita mo na ang pulis car hu...mag siga gani ang pula sa babaw hambalon mo ko ha?!
migo 2: no problem

pagsiga sang suga:

migo 2: ara...wala...ara...wala...ara...wala...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ano ba naman kayo...galing rin ako sa inyong katawan, pagkatapos nyo akong bilugin tatapon nyo lang ako... - pung it

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

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B
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:14 pm

guy: idelete ta na lang ka sa Friendster list nakon..

girl: nga man?

guy: teh kay di ko gusto nga asta friends lang ta.


aw!! bwahahah xD

********************************************

(use hand signals &facial expressions. silent mode ni xa gle.hehe)

am watchin you

am watchin you

.
.
.

call me.

aw!! bwahaha xD


***********************************************

Q: anu tawag muh sa tawo na la migo tas galagaw?

A: SINGLE ON TOUR.

aw. hhihihih xD

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daud_2pipty
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Sat Dec 06, 2008 10:28 pm

ayon kay AIAI

kung kaya nang iba...

ipagawa mo sa kanila!!!...


ang batang masipag..

pagod paglaki...
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n|nja08
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:01 pm

UNGA:

nay,. toud bala ang first love never dies?..

ILOY:

ano pa!.. lantaw bala ang imo amay, first love ko na siya...

asta subog buhi pa ang dip*ta nya!..


:twisted:

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kentoy
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Mon Dec 08, 2008 12:29 am

bata : nay kung wala ka dlungan ma aritos ka pa?

nanay : di na eh! baw!

bata: ti kung wala ka bi tudlo ma sinsing ka?

nanay: ay nanu! xmpre nd gid eh!

bata: ti nga a ga bra ka pa aw?

nanay: lintek! 2nga nalang balon mo!
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chuwi
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Mon Dec 08, 2008 6:06 pm

^^^ nyAahaha..., kawais nga bata!
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britz
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Mon Dec 08, 2008 7:43 pm

Juan: kaina sa bus bla may gtindog nga tigulang.nkala-inan ko gni mg 2lok.

Pedro: aah, te gn pa pungko mo eh no??

Juan: ah wla ah..nag piyong na lng ko

>.<

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bata batuta
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Mon Dec 08, 2008 10:42 pm

alak





to muv it, muv it.



alak to muv it, muv it!!
alak to muv it, muv it!!
alak to muv it!

-ost madagascar escape to africa

---------------------------------------------------------------

Pacquiao: honey, buksan mo na yung sweets

Jinky : lambing mo talaga. mwah !! nasan ang sweets honey?

Pacquiao: yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita… ang dilim!!

========================================

Erap: Isasauli ko tong nabili kong VHS tape.
Clerk: Anong problema?
Erap: Walang picture tsaka sound. Sayang, suspense thriller pa yata.
Clerk: Anong title?
Erap: Head Cleaner.


Driver to Erap: Boss, pakitingnan nga yung signal lights kung gumagana?
Erap: Oo gumagana. Teka, sira. O gumana na naman.


Si Erap, nataihan ng ibon.
Maid: Sir, eto po ang tissue.
Erap: Pano mo pa pupunasan ang pohwet non e nakalipad na.


Mr. President, bakit po ba paika-ika kayong maglakad?
Erap: I have high cholesterol. Sabi ng doktor, iwasan ko daw yung itlog.


Reporter: Sir, do you have any plans for the homeless?
Erap: Of course, but the problem is, it is very hard to find them, they have no address.


Cabinet Member: Mr. President our population growth rate is alarming!
There is 1 woman giving birth every minute.
ERAP: We have to stop this, look for that woman!


Ramos: Erap may pasalubong akong 10 feet snake sa ** galing ng Australia.
Erap: owwsss? pinagloloko mo ako eh..wala naman feet ang snake eh.

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kentoy
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:22 am

NOEL : mag bata ko LEON i pangalan ko sa bata ko ah! para cool! baliskad dan sang ngalan ko!

NINO : akon ONIN ah! hahaha! mas cool! baliskad man daun sang ngalan ko!

TOTO : di manami na s2ryahon nyu! change topic pls!
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JeezMan Productions
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Tue Dec 09, 2008 2:10 pm

anak: tay, ngaa rio ngalan ni manong haw?

tatay: kay sa hotel del rio sya gin himo....

anak: ah.... te ngaa sarta naman si manang?

tatay: kay sa sarabia naman sya ya gin himo...

anak: ah... te ngaa...

tatay(rudely interrupting): hipos na sofia ah! kadamo sa imo pamangkot!
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kentoy
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:28 pm

at the pool

may agi nga ga langoy sa pe klas nila.... pag butwa ya may nakita xa condom!

GAY: hoy! mga g*ga! sin o sa inyu nag otot?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sa tindahan

GAY: nang! ma bakal ko bi longanisa!

TINDERA: ok ah! anu gus2 mo day? chop-chopon?

GAY: pak u! anu matyag mo sa buli ko alkansiya?!
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atSai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:46 am

convo w/ my dad earlier this morning

sai: diin tiro nyo bwas?

tatay: lapaz

sai: diin sa lapaz?

tatay: sa ticud

sai: diin ang ticud?

tatay: sa lapaz.

sai: Neutral
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bata batuta
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:18 am

3 ka mango nga bayi kag isa ka lalaki...

boy: uy!!! teh ano suksukon mo sa boracay???

girl: topless ah...para sexy

boy: teh ikaw ya girl 2?...

girl 2: (nanumdum kag la na guid mapinsaran)...hmmm....bootomless ah...para sexy

boy: teh ikaw ya girl3??..

girl3: wala...burlesk..

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atSai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:42 am

convo w/ my dad part 2

sai: diin ayun ang ticud?

tatay: sa lapaz gane

sai: argh! diin ang ticud?

tatay: sa likod

sai: sa likod sng?

tatay: sa likod sng lapaz

sai: ugh! diin ayun ang ticud? ano ang landmarks?

tatay: well, if you talk about landmarks, damu to marks.

Neutral Neutral Neutral
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atSai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:52 pm



Last edited by saiasive on Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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atSai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Sat Dec 13, 2008 1:13 pm

some stuffs i remember in my high school days

Sir T: We're going to have our first friday mass.
DNM: san o sir ang first friday mass? sa monday?

MJE: perfect ko na tne, gleng may sala ko.


Last edited by saiasive on Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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atSai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Mon Dec 15, 2008 7:10 pm



Last edited by saiasive on Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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britz
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Mon Dec 15, 2008 8:20 pm

multo: awooo...awoooo

bata: wag po, wag po, natatakot po ako



multo: kei, sorry


_______________________________________________________



farmer: dok, ako c juan, yung pinagamit mo ng condom 2 yrs ago

dok: oh baket? anong kailangan mo??

farmer: pwede na bang alisin??


_______________________________________________________



isa ka adlaw c g*go kag si mango nagpa alam-alam

g*go: ngo, ngo, kung alam ka 2+9 b?

mango: 9 eh..

g*go: 9 kuno..waaa palagpat!

mango: te pila b?

g*go: pati ah, 9 gd mn

lol!
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atSai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:59 pm

ACTUAL COURT QUOTES


Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: How old is your son -- the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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atSai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Sun Jan 18, 2009 2:20 pm

Girl 1: what do you call a boy ladybug?

Girl 2: confused.

Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Joke Joke   Today at 2:22 am

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