pen and ink (originals)

aw. kasimple lang guid na
pahimunong ka kag mag pungko
hulata mag bukas ang pwerta
maskin pila katuig indi ka maghalin da

indi mag pamisok
indi mag hulag
hulat lng kag tuluka
kung indi mo gusto malab ot
ang imo handum...

-igitboy

Aga, ugto, kagab-ehun kag kaagahun

May mga palamangkuton kag palanumdumun

Ano bala ang maayo mo nga mga buluhaton

Ikaw bala may mahimo nga mapinuslanun

Ukon matanga ka naman nga daw naga padalom-dalum

Sa bwas ayhan may bag-o nga ulubrahun

Kay basi amo man dyapon nga mga hilikuton

Katalaka na sang pangkalibutanun

Magbag-o na sang kaugalingon

Para sa tanan nga gahambal Hiligaynon

- ilongga -

bang bang. i shot the enemy down
blood on the floor
man crawling towards me
he caught his last breath and said
mama...

-igitboy

para sa mga nanay ah.

"Miss, pa-order nga ng 3-D sandwich!"

"Ano 'ka mo?!"

"Three-dimensional sandwich!"

Huwebes yata yun, taong 2005. Yung bago lang ako napanganak bilang Bachelor of Science in Nursing. After "capping and pinning" yata yun, yung feel na feel ko ang pagiging isang Nars. Yung tipong alaskador ka pero naka "all in white" yung damit. Puting shoes, pwede na. Yung nag-aabala kang dapat maging "globally competitive".

Sumigaw ako sa aleng naka kulay berde yung damit, na nagmumukhang "busy" sa tapat ng counter pero naka send na ng sampung replies sa kanyang 3315 na celfone. Nagkunwaring hindi niya ako narinig.

"3-D sandwich nga, miss! Tsaka batchoy at isang Sparkle!"

Napakunot-noo si ale. Tila mismo naguguluhan siya sa order pero hindi na nagawang magsalita pa. Habang naghihintay ng aking order, damang-dama ko yung "clean white" na uniporme, na two sizes bigger than me, at ginagalaw ko yung dalawa kong paa. Kinuha ko ang librong "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens at binuksan sa page 168.

Maya-maya lamang, dumating na ang aleng naka berde yung damit, dala-dala niya ang order ko. Maingat niyang inilapag ang batchoy tapos ay nanatiling nakatayo sa harap ng mesa na tila ba may inaantay na kung ano. Gusto ko sanang paalisin kaya lang hindi na ako nakapag-pigil at sinimulan ko nang lantakan ang aking three-dimensional sandwich.

Kagat. Higop ng sabaw. Kagat. Higop uli sa sabaw. Kagat. Kagat. Higop. Hindi ko na naranasan napamura ako sa kasarapan! Hindi ko na namalayan, ubos na pala yung three-dimensional sandwich ko! Tinignan ko yung batchoy, hindi pa ubos. Marami pang pancit na naiwan pati na yung chicharon na tilang nagsiswimming sa sabaw. Nag-angat ako ng tingin. Naroon pa rin sa harap ko ang aleng naka green yung damit. Nagmamasid, nagtataka. Para yatang wala sa sarili niya habang nakatitig ang mga mata niya sa akin.

"Miss, ba't masarap ang 3-D sandwich niyo? Super sarap! Three-dimensional na three-dimensional talaga, hindi katulad sa iba!"

Nakatunghay lang ang aleng naka green ang get-up. Tila naging permanente na ang kunot sa noo niya.

"Miss, kunin ko na yung bill ko. May klase pa kasi ako sa third floor pero babalik ako mamayang hapon mga quarter to 4 kasi si Ma'am S. nagbebreak siya sa mga ganung oras para uminom ng meds niya for Diabetes. Babalik ako dito mamaya para umorder uli ng aking paboritong three-dimensional sandwich. Maganda kung ipagrereserba mo na ako ng mga dalawa. Isasama ko kase dito yung kaklase ko para makatikim din siya ng three-dimensional sandwich ninyo!"

Tatlo o limang beses ko atang dineliver ang linyang iyon bago pa nakakilos ang babaeng naka-green. Hindi ko alam kung saang parte siya na-shock. Sa paraan ng pagkain at pag-inom ko ng Sparkle o sa paulit-ulit na pagbalik ko sa kainan nila. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang meron sa mukha ko at di niya matanggal ang tingin niya sa akin. Naisip ko, baka may natuyong kulangot na naman sa may dulo ng ilong ko. O baka naman kaya natuyong muta.

Umalis akong masaya. Busog at masaya. Iba talaga ang epekto ng three-dimensional sandwich sa katawan ko. Sa loob ng 10 minuto ay magre-report ako para sa Medical Surgical at kailangan ko ang lahat ng enerhiya para masagot ang mahihirap na tanong ng mga kaklase ko. Sana ay three-dimensional lahat ng sagot ko para wala silang masabi. Ayaw kase ng Clinical Instructor ko ang mga two-dimensional na sagot. Gusto niya three-dimensional lahat. Dapat ay may depth behind a flat surface. Dapat ay well-represented with sufficient complexity para maging kumbinsido sa paningin at aspeto.
Umakyat ako papuntang third floor habang iniisip kung paano sumagot ng three-dimensional.

as of now ponderin:

Life can be a canvass of misery at times.
oh well.. I cant wait to splash!! some colors in it again.

wuhooo xD

too much foolishness will lead you to a right place sometimes

people can be too foolish sometimes

....-igitboy

MY LOVE STORY

Meeting you has been wonderful. A learning experience indeed. Like learning a new way of life. Since I met you I learned of a new kind of happiness. Not just being happy with myself, but being happy all over; literally feeling happy from my head to toe, from my fingertips to the roots of my hair, from my arteries to my veins, from my navel to my nose, from my cells to my molecules. I think exhilarated is the more appropriate word.

For a while life was perfect, shining perfect. But all good things must come to an end, right? And in an instant, in one phone call, in one dreadful sentence said one year and a half after we met, I learned of a new kind of hurt, a new kind of pain, a new kind of sorrow.

*Angina pectoris, a squeezing substernal chest pain typically described as a feeling of tightness or fullness, or oppression. The pain results when the oxygen demand in the heart muscle exceeds the supply and is unable to function properly. It is usually precipitated by activity (physical or emotional stress) and is relieved by rest or by administration of nitroglycerin.

*Myocardial infarction is the death of the heart muscle because of prolonged lack of oxygen. This brings about an acutely crushing and excruciating chest pain that radiates to the arm, shoulder, jaw, or back. It is not relieved by rest, but by administration of morphine. This is more commonly known as a heart attack.

June 2002
Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. I first set eyes on you standing in the gate of CPU. You were hugging your envelope. Eyes set with specs that looked like you're out to kill for something. You looked weird. But my heart went LubDubLubDubLubDub. I felt something in my chest, like a light bulb lighting up and giving me a warm glow, however corny it may sound. It wasn’t a chest pain but a definite sensation and a welcomed one at that.

First Date. Something ignited in my chest. A tingling sensation that radiated to my cheeks and gave me a blush; a reaction precipitated by you staring into my eyes and relieved by me averting my eyes.

Holding your hands caused a feeling inside of me I couldn’t quite explain. It was like eating chocolates after a going on a strict diet or like having an extension of me…Heavenly. That’s how it felt. A heavenly feeling from my chest that radiated all over my skin; I didn’t want it relieved.

First Kiss (and all other kisses thereafter) brought about explosions in my chest that radiated through my entire existence, all my thoughts, memories, experiences were affected. Ah…the bliss that it brought! I craved the feeling and I wanted it as often as possible.

First Fight. There was a tennis ball lodged inside my chest cavity. It hurt and it radiated to my head in a pounding rhythm. This pain was due to a misunderstanding and resolved by a long talk followed by our

First Kiss and Make Up Session. A multitude of all sorts of deliriously euphoric feelings brought about by embraces, kisses, caresses, and much, much more. A new kind of happiness, really, that became a part of me, a part of us. And all I had to do to feel it was to think of you, knowing that I had you, that you were mine, and I was yours was enough to give me a high like I’ve never known before.

May 5th, 2007, 11:48 pm
ME: Hello?
Woman’s voice: (muffled) *****, diin ka?
ME: Tita?
Woman’s voice: ****** naaksidente…(static)…come…(she cries)…kadto di Benito…(line goes dead)

I can’t remember anything after that. When the line went dead, I died too.

Somehow I knew you were already gone. I felt it. In my chest, I felt it; a heavy crushing feeling of intense pain, disbelief, despair, torment, and panic all fighting with the little hope I had in my heart. But I knew. I knew that’s why I felt the pain in my chest because of the thought of having lost you and it could have only been relieved if my instincts were proved wrong. It was pain like I’ve never felt before, it radiated through my entire body, my entire being.

In the cab, on my way to you, my Love, I died again. Second time that night.

Chest pain. Directly over the spot where my heart lies. Its here. Still here. I feel it. When I saw your mother at the E.R. the chest pain moved up my throat and became confined there. I felt a choking feeling when I saw Tita and as I looked into her eyes I understood. No words were needed.

I already knew and she did too. Again it was in my chest, a great big repeatedly stabbing feeling in my chest as I realized the hard truth that I have lost you. The only thing that could have relieved the pain was if I had you back. But I can’t have you back, not then, not now, not ever. I had you but I lost you and I can’t have you back. That’s why the pain remained.

Walking in the hallway on my way to the morgue where you lay, my Darling, I died for the third time that night.

Since your death I have died a thousand times, but each of those times a part of me persists to stay alive. And that is you. You are and will always be a part of me and it is the reason why I still haven’t given up on life. I would still give everything and do anything to have you back, to feel happy once again even if for just a few minutes. I miss you.
The pain has now become a familiar dull ache. An ache brought about by missing you so much and relieved only by reliving memories of you. You are my nitroglycerin and my morphine. I love you. Forever.

I cannot compensate loving someone else, of finding someone more prettier, more adventurous or more "warm in the pants" session. I'm not like the other guys you know who would go and "date" other girls while we're still on. All I know, I love you. It has been a year and a half. Our anniversary. Because it is also a year and a half I died myself with you. I am a living dead organism in this world. And until now, I still don't know what to do without you.

BITTERSWEET REALITY

Sad truths and bitter endings.
Timeless tales of ephemeral beings.
Life's irony precedes everyone,
You get what deserve but never what you want.
You live to the fullest yet your life's still incomplete,
You cherish a moment that eventually fleet.

A king for a day but a slave for eternity,
Life’s never-ending bittersweet reality.
Trust is always accompanied by betrayal and truth coupled with lies.
Despite the presence of a few good men, an army of evil will always arise.

Bittersweet longings for things in the past,
Fleeting moments that never last.
Love 'til it hurts and love some more,
Love until the hurt is no more.

Hope until you exhaust yourself.
Live 'til you can't breathe anymore.
Laugh until you lungs are sore.
Eat until you're full.
Frolic and bathe in the moment's glory.
Then bask and enjoy life's bittersweet reality.

^^^hello melancholic insanity...welcome to eksena iloilo...advice
lang..para sa uniformity sang forum please refrain from posting colored
fonts and bigger font size..forum rules eh..tnx!!!!

NO more

your memory no longer lives here
I took the time to trash it
but why are you still returning
Why do you keep on asking
in my mind you asked why

I'm in dissonance
I'm far from your fragrance
Your essence, your presence

I don't miss you...
why bother messing with these thoughts
your face imprinted on my mind
your smile tattooed, your voice echoed
imagining things once more

but, no more, no more, I insist...
no more, no more, no more, I insist.

the essence of love is being loved back.
the whole entire time you think you're alone,you never are.
it doesnt feel right at times,but it doesnt really hurt to think about your welfare over others'.
life is full of irony,bittersweet moments,and twists and turns.
things may not always go your way,but life always finds a way to make things work out for themselves.
you just have to believe that in every action, an equal and opposite reaction is always expected to happen,
and that you can always prepare for the worst to come but still be overwhelmed.
you can try to understand, but the way things are intended to be, incomprehensibility is the only stable commodity that you can arm yourself.
this is not a point of view from a pessimist nor of an optimist.
rhather, a reflection of a fool who tried to comprehend and carefully plan things out only to find himself utterly disappointed in the outcome.
planning and putting things in order really does a great deal of help,but as long as you're not open to the fact that schedules will break and interruptions are a necessity,life will have a banquet in your name and eat you alive.
failure is an option that everyone has and is entitled to,
accepting the defeat is your choice,it's never fate.
life is what you make of it,no one to blame for mishaps, no one to to point out to for mistakes,
just yourself and your own sense of direction,your judgment,your leap of faith

a bit sleepy

dead tired

and running out of time...

uploading...

loading...

typing..

my cyber world... =)

Wail the Wind



Wail the wind of slumber
Ring the bell of sleep
Toll your rest to reap
A dream in the dreamer's keep

Indigestion


i woke up feeling the painful sunlight that struck my eyes

i was forcibly asked to leave the bed

it was nine o'clock in the morning and my eyes were still begging me to close them.

i walked like a lazy leech on my way to the cr

i was frozen by the cold water..

i am not ready for school yet..

i've never been ready since the holiday vacation took off.

i have not eaten anything, no breakfast, no luch..

at the end of my day, i still feel full..

i wonder why..

then i've realized that it' just because of my

"back-to-school-reality-indigestion...

-undigested0307

it's me again

not really sure if it's really me.

i'm wrap with the cream-colored, collard, hot blouse

covered by our not so long skirt.

i'm wearing my nude stockings, together with my 2inches high-heeled black shoes.

i was supposed to have a class during this sleepy hours

but was blessed to have heard that our teacher will be absent.

i walked east - towards the opposite side of the building where i was supposed to be in

it's as if i was driven by a different force

i walked

without anything in my head

anticipation - i am filled with anticipation

i stopped in front of a glass door

"ah! so here is where my alter-ego wants to go!"

i entered the glass covered room.

it was cold..

i was given a card..

no. 7

i went straight to no. 7

i sat

click... click... click...

enter!

i'm in a forum site

black background

gray fonts

i feel good

feeling even better

i am typing..

-end-

-log-in: chuwi

blinding lights approached me...black out..green hospital bed sheets..emergency room...no meds, no check ups, no monitorings,hospital, iloilo, philippines...poor...lazy...tsk...ask me why

hanging on tiptoes

just had another one of those nights
with him plastered all over this line
been there before
side by side as they both lay down
on that same place
on that same day yet a different month
where almost everything was revealed.

she cant help but caress his face
still wondering what's the real deal
saying things just for the sake of conversation
to her, his intentions seem real
her intentions are all sane, all real as well.

yet he chose another her.

break
break
break
goes her heart..

at times she may ask herself
why she's still there although it's hurting
what's all this to him
what is she to him
when would everything be fine again?

hanging on senseless hopes
hanging on although it's gradually hurting
hanging on tiptoes
just dont let her keep on hanging on tiptoes..

now she wonders
if he's happy that this was written with him all over in it.

cold

lazy

tired

sleepy

after this, i'll be back on my bed..

Your love is so awesome
It's just too freakin awesome
Your love is so awesome
You're just so freakin awesome!
You love us like a father who molests his six year old daughter
And a mother who kills her children has a love far greater
You love us like a father who buttfucks his six year old daughter
And a mother who kills her children has a love far greater

Word!

paper clips scattered over the floor
and drops of blood stained the sheets of my bed
clothes drenched in sweat and blood were all over the place
cool new age sound from the radio plays
she was there lying dead....

PARANOIA
12/15/08

Awhile ago, I was at my bed, lying down. Then I got up, took the .38 revolver of my dad, and put it under my bed. Then I got up again, and triple locked the doors.
Now, I cannot sleep.

Drinking, like any typical habit, is a Choice and not a Chance. aw!! heehee

talking about chicken wires...

4 different people
4 bottles of beer
talked
drank
listened
learned

-dehydrated-

death,
like a surprise,
comes unexpected.
sorry,
i wasn't there
to give you
my goodbye kiss.

i love you mommy cynth!

TAWA EH!!


shhh....be quiet...


i will miss you....